Re: The 300 Movies You Must See Before You Die!

Maxim Cover with the Goddess Elisha CuthbertMaxim magazine online has an article with the aforementioned title – not that they’re ones to be overdramatic or anything. A quick glance thru the list puts me at 128 out of 300 – which is probably a failing score but I like to think of it as being almost halfway done. That is if I were to truly take their list as gospel and go in search of the other 172 films. Which I probably won’t.

I scored heavily in the Horror & Sci/Fi sections (only missing 1 movie from each – go figure, eh?) but was blasted in the Crime and Western areas. . . on account of I never watch Cop or Western movies. Unless they have zombies, in which case maybe.

But the list is intrinsicly flawed in that ‘Heavy Metal’, ‘Excalibur’ & ‘Wizards’ are not on it. Nor are any porno’s. So you just KNOW it’s not a definitive list.

If you want to check it out yourself, go HERE. Or better yet, go buy a copy ya’ cheap bastards. It’s got an interview with Elisha Cuthbert and previews of the upcoming ‘X-files’ movie too. There, now I just gave’em a free plug.

Et Tu Jimi? Reported Hendrix Sex Tape To Be Released by Vivid

The NY Times has an interesting article about a reported sex tape surfacing of guitar god Jimi Hendrix, which of course is going to be offered by Vivid Video – tasteful distributors of such classics as the ‘Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee’ tape and the ‘Kim Kardashian’ tape. Which reminds me, I need to order Kim’s tape. But I digress. . .

Supposedly, the 11 minute footage (with no audio) shows an afro-haired man resembling Hendrix, even with a bandana – having sex with two brunette chicks. Electric Lady Land indeed.

If you read the whole article linked above, it seems doubtful to me that this is in fact Hendrix. Little is shown of the man’s face, it’s mostly silhouette’s and hand shots. AND IT’S ONLY 11 MINUTES!? Even I can beat that. . .ulp, digressing again.

Vivid did indeed pad out the disc to 45 minutes with interviews with Pamela Des Barres (famed groupie and author of “I’m With the Band”) and Cynthia ‘Plaster Caster’ Albritton. I guess that would be considered ‘expert’ testimony but somehow the motivations of these ladies is suspect. Plus, just what you want in a porn dvd is a whole bunch of TALKING, right? All for just $39.95. What a bargain.

Nope, sorry – I’m skeptical that this is the real deal just like I don’t think the ‘new’ Marilyn footage is real either. And yes, I’ve seen stills of the Marilyn footage ($150,000 dollars to buy it indeed. Just download it fool!) and my cat’s ass looks more like Marilyn Monroe than the lady in that vid.

But then, my cat DOES have a sexy ass. Just ask my dog.

Dethklok – Need I Say More?

Ok, I’ll admit it. I’m late to the ball on this one. . .very, very late. I’ve avoided watching Metalocalypse on Cartoon Network for over a year now because I thought it was another ‘Beavis & Butthead’ type piece of crap. Well, there are similarities – it’s totally tasteless, humor in the lowest vein & it rocks. So yeah, I’m a fan now.

Good thing each episode is like 15 minutes long, so I can catch up quick. Check out this video below – too cool eh? I know, I know – go ahead and say it. “Welcome to 2006, Rev!”

Milfs of Faith?

Nationwide arena is beset with a ‘Women of Faith’ convention for this weekend, which I’m sure has all the area bars ready to cash in on the influx of fresh meat populating their happy hours. Ok, maybe with the Catholics anyways. Or maybe not.

Anyhow, I’m generally distrustful of organized religious events like this but hey, who am I to judge someone else’s happiness? To each his own as long as they’re not banging on my front door asking for money. . .or worse, trying to ‘save me’.

“Friend, have you found Jesus?”
“Why no, is he lost? I mean the dude has his own GPS, right? Does he owe you money?”

Ah yes, Fundamentalists can be such a humorless lot. A generalization, I know – but it HAS been my experience. Kinda makes me want to sit outside the arena, and catcall groups of the faithful as they walk by in their Sunday best. Hey, religious women need love too, don’t they? Nothing like getting them all steamed up before they have to go sit for hours in a room crowded full of fanatical devotees, singing Disney-like choruses while voting on how much sex to give out (or not) to their men for the rest of the year. That’s what they discuss, isn’t it? Don’t suppose they have any kind of bikini competition or anything, do they? Probably not. Probably just as well.

Ok, ok – I’m just kidding. I don’t need to get attacked by a vigilante arm of the Red Hat society. My luck, I’d end up on the evening news – something about an impromptu exorcism being performed on an middle-aged derelict in the Arena district. Wouldn’t be pretty, no sir.

Happy Birthday, Rim of Hell !

Yep, one year ago today I posted my first entry – a review of the Dimmu Borgir show I’d just witnessed up in Cleveland.   Only posted one more time that month, and only 3 times a month for the next two months.  Let’s just say I was slow to get started.

A year later, I’m averaging about 666 absolute unique visitors a month – more if I say ANYTHING about Motley Crue.  I totally did NOT make that number up either, it’s straight out of Google analytics.  By internet standards, that’s a paultry amount but to me – it’s COOL!  Hell, I can go thru entire weeks without a single person listening to me (including family) so this is a big step up in my book.

Still don’t really have a ‘purpose’ behind this site other than to vent when I want to, wax nostalgic if feeling the need, and hopefully to open up a bit of discussion here and there.  I do tend to talk about Heavy Metal as that’s one of my life’s passions but I don’t intend this to be solely a ‘metal site’.  Unless I get sponsors, in which case it’ll be all metal, all the time.  Just kidding.  Unless you’re an interested investor, then let’s talk.  Call me.

Anyways, thanks for being one of the elite few who stop by.   Who knows, maybe in another year I’ll have figured out how to keep my line spacing consistent throughout an entire post.   But I wouldn’t count on it.

Therion Faces Major Shake-up

I just noticed a little tidbit in Metal news that was actually posted back on the 18th – Therion has decided to effectively split-up. Founder/guitarist/vocalist Christofer Johnsson is the only remaining permanent member while the other three – guitarist Kristian Niemann, Bassist Johan Niemann & drummer Petter Karlsson have all opted to part amicably and move on to solo projects. You can read the whole story at their official website (but not in IE, so be forewarned) HERE.

To those unfamiliar with the group, they are THE quintessential Symphonic Metal metal band that boasts operatic vocals, complex orchestrations and often cryptic lyrics (usually about the occult or mythology).

While I’m glad that Therion will still exist as a band after Christofer ONCE AGAIN recruits more members, this line-up is the one I’d seen live and had brought me into the fold. Extremely talented musicians, Therion is known for playing varied setlists from night to night (I got to hear their note-on cover of Mercyful Fates’ “Black Funeral”) and sporting 5 backing vocalists so they can capture their “Mormon Tabernacle Choir from Hell” sound that no other band can come close to without resorting to tape.

I know their North American tours had not been all that successful (poor marketing, in my opinion) and the odds of seeing them again were much better if I was willing to fly overseas. Still, it’ll be a LONG while until anyone sees them live now and basically an impressive era has ended for the band.

Sorry to hear the news. That’s all.

Hey, It’s 4:19. Got a Minute?

So I had a ‘cyber-doobie’ texted (or passed if you will) to me on my cellphone this morning by a zealous buddy. I had forgotten it was 4-20 today – the unofficial ‘official pot smoker’s day’. Yeah, I’m getting old so my priorities have changed to stuff like . . .I dunno, bills & fixing garage doors & what the penalities are for taking out a hit on a neighbor’s cat. All elements of my larger-than-life daily existence.

But do you know where this ‘4-20’ stuff originally came from? I mean, do you REALLY know? Let me give you a hint; if you think it’s because of Hitler’s Birthday (which is the correct date) – you’d be wrong. What kind of potsmokers celebrate Hitler. . .really?

Think it’s an anniversary of the Columbine shootings or Oklahoma City Bombing – you’d still be wrong. Although technically it IS the anniversary of Columbine, Oklahoma was April 19th. And the 420 tradition is older than either of those events.

Nor is 4:20 the tea-time of people in Holland, the number of chemicals in marijuana, or the police code for getting busted with pot. And it’s not Bob Marley’s birthday either (which was my wife’s theory). He was born Feb. 6, 1945. And before you say it, he died on May 11, 1981 – so it’s not the anniversary of his death either.

So how did it start? With a group of students from San Rafael High School back in 1971, who would meet at 4:20pm to ‘burn one’ in front of the statue of Louis Pasteur. ‘420’ became code for their meetings so they could discuss in front of their unknowing parents. This I learned from an interesting, albeit preachy, article at About.com, who in turn quote information from one Steven Hager, editor of High Times magazine. Click the link to read the whole post.

I’d say High Times would be a fairly reputable source for the true meaning of ‘420’, wouldn’t you? And don’t feel bad if you didn’t know, hardly anyone does. Including me, but then as mentioned, I’m far too busy being a rockstar.

The Longest Band Name in Metal

I have this theory. It’s kinda along the lines of those people who say “what if every story that can be written, HAS been written?” or “What if there are no more new songs possible?” Like all the possible variations of notes have already been recorded and now each band is just regurgitating previous material?.

Granted originality is at a premium these days and when I watch MTV’s Headbanger’s Ball, I often can see why someone would ask these types of questions. Yeah, yeah – I know the odds thingy and all that. It can’t really happen (OR CAN IT? muhahaha).

But here’s MY theory; what if bands are running out of original NAMES? Think about it – in the sixties there were so many one word names (not including articles like ‘A’ or ‘The’) like Beatles, Doors, Zombies, THE Band (they went all out, eh?), Byrds, Yardbirds, Traffic, Kinks, Cream, Animals, Who, etc.

As time wears on, you don’t see as many of these one word bands. In fact, it seems to be trendy to do the opposite – Arsonists Get All the Girls, Through the Eyes of the Dead, The Number Twelve Looks Like You, Blessed by a Broken Heart, The Devil Wears Prada etc. Ok, then there’s The Sword – just to totally blow my theory all to hell.

Still, it makes me wonder if there are only a few more single word names left. Soon, we’ll be talking about bands with names like “Butt Kicking Conquerors of Ultimate Metal Doom Come to Bring Destruction and Mayhem Upon You All”. That t-shirt will be thin on graphics, eh?

But for fun, aside from the bands listed above, what’s the longest named band you’ve ever heard of? I did a little search on this, actually found a post on the subject HERE.

For the record, the longest one word name I could find was for the goregrind act out of Mexico called Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis. Just don’t ask me to pronounce it. Now if I ever start a band, we’ll be called ‘R’ just to be different. Unless there’s already an ‘R’ band out there, in which case we’ll be known as the Frenchcut Daisymuffins.

Ludo

Saw the zanyness known as Ludo again last night. This time, I took my wife since she enjoys the song ‘Love Me Dead’ and had never seen the guys live. It was a fun show, as expected. Small turn-out at the venue but what they lacked in numbers they made up in enthusiasm. If you ever have the chance to see Ludo live, and don’t mind some Nerd Rock – definitely do so. They’re a trip!

I also bought their new CD while I was there and am happy to see it has more ‘unusual’ song titles as we’ve come to expect. My favs so far are the aforementioned ‘Love Me Dead’ as well as ‘Drunken Lament’, ‘Lake Pontchartrain’ (a little ditty about a carniverous lake) and the theme song to my marriage – ‘The Horror of Our Love’. Check out a sample of these lyrics;

“I want you stuffed into my mouth
Hold you down and tear you open, live inside you – love,
I’d never hurt you
But I’ll grind against your bones until our marrows mix
I will eat you slowly . . . ”

Almost sounds like something Six Feet Under would play, doesn’t it? But no, it’s recorded by a band looking like a Lambda Lambda Lambda reunion. You can check’em out on their Myspace Page.