Month: May 2008

FREE Online Zombie Games

On By RevMortisIn Humor - Games5 Comments

I went on a quest this week for a holy grail of sorts.  I went in search of the best free zombie games that the web had to offer.  Well let me tell you, I really wasn’t prepared for the overwhelming options.  One site lists 126 themselves, but I think there are even more time-wasters if you do some digging on Google.

Some are viral games used to advertise movies (Resident Evil and Land of the Dead for example), many more are just created for pure online entertainment.  Most are bloody (DUH).  My favs so far are ‘The Last Stand’ (although I suck at it), Divine Intervention – which I had on my Myspace page for a long time, and Deanimator. 

If you’re interested, I recommend the following sites;

The list is by no means exhaustive – there are many, many more sites I could have listed but tons of overlap between what is already presented here.  Drop me a line if you know of a really good one with games not in this group.

Almost makes me wanna make this a zombie game site – almost that is.  I know you all would miss me . . .

Crimson Ghosts – Surf Misfits

On By RevMortisIn Mad Ramblings2 Comments

So I don’t listen exclusively to metal. 99.9% of the time, I’m hellbent for leather. But in that other .1%? I listen to all sorts of stuff. . . psychobilly, new age, ambient, classical, avantgarde or experimental. And yeah – I like surf punk. Especially horror surf punk.

So I found this band, Crimson Ghosts the other day. All Misfits covers, all the time. But done by an instrumental surf band. WHOA! Now, in the interest of full disclosure, the band was originally called ’13 Ghosts’ (outta Boston) and played under that name for many years. Then, with some drama, ‘most’ of the members became ‘Crimson Ghosts’. Don’t wanna know the reasons, don’t really care.

Let’s just say I support what I hear and this is good stuff. So click the link and give’em a listen. You’ll swear many of those ole’ Danzig originals were meant to be heard this way.

Ghost in a Bottle

On By RevMortisIn In The NewsLeave a comment

Fark.com – Well, in these trying financial times I’m glad to see you can still wantonly waste your money if you’d like. No, I’m not talking lapdances (besides, that’s an INVESTMENT) – I give you Ghost in a bottle. And only $20 bucks?

These boys are really missing out on an opportunity of selling their customer list. Imagine the value to other advertisers of a client list guaranteed gullible and willing to spend cash?

Ah, I’m just jealous I didn’t think of it first.

Job for a Cowboy

On By RevMortisIn Music - Death Metal3 Comments

I’ve been out of pocket all weekend, either camping or drinkin’, so I just now had a chance to discuss the interview Blabbermouth.net posted (excerpts anyways) with Job for a Cowboy’s lead singer Jonny Davy. The best quote is in the headline – “If a girl came up to us, we wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves”.

Actually, the whole discussion is a pretty honest appraisel of the band itself and Death Metal in general by what seems to be a grounded member of the scene. If you’ve ever seen JfaC live, you know they kill, I mean KILL, on stage. Very brutal, very heavy – even for Death Metal. But according to Davy, it’s not a well paying situation (which I figured) and doesn’t get too many chicks (now THAT surprises me).

I always figured EVERY musician got his share of groupie goodness, just the level improves as you become more famous. Hell, when I was in college our house band ‘The Elves From Hell’ even got groupies – scary, infected toothless varmits but we had’em. You know it’s bad when you can be stumbling drunk and STILL not be tempted by them. Although our bassist Chuck may have taken the plunge, not sure.

But I digress – check out the link for the interview with one of Death Metal’s rising acts before fame & drugs ruin them (hope not).

National Geographics ‘Decoding Stonehenge’ Website Featuring Interviews with Spinal Tap’s Nigel Tufnel

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Blabbermouth.net – To promote it’s upcoming movie ‘Decoding Stonehenge’ (premieres June 1 at 9pm Helltime), the National Geographic channel has posted some online interviews with none other than Spinal Tap’s Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest) at the site http://stonehengedecoded.com.  And who better to talk about Stonehenge than Tufnel, eh?

Blabbermouth also has 5 videos posted on their site and I recommend them all.  Hilarious!  I especially like the ‘reverberation experiments’ Tufnel was performing on marinara sauce and his theory as to the true purpose of the structure. 

It’s good to see the legend of Spinal Tap continue on . . .

Steven Tyler in Rehab & Other Bad News

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Bad news comes in three’s it would seem (all found on Blabbermouth.com per their respective links);

  1. Steven Tyler has reportedly checked himself into a rehab facility in Pasadena for ‘substance abuse’.   Although I usually joke about Aerosmith’s best material being when they were all doped up, I’m being serious when I say “Get better Steven.  You ain’t gettin’ any younger and we’d like to see you tour again”.   
  2. Former Phantom Blue guitarist Michelle Meldrum is in a coma in a Los Angeles hospital, although no reason is given as to why.  As you can imagine, her situation is very serious & her family is hoping for “a miracle” so that she might pull through.  Here’s hoping they get their wish.
  3. Original RUSH drummer John Rutsey has died – succumbing at only age 55 to a life long battle with Diabetes.  Rutsey is the drummer on one of the best songs RUSH ever did – “Working Man”, off their first self-titled album but was forced to drop out of the band due to health concerns.  In later years, his memory has often been overshadowed by his replacement, the legendary Neil Peart,  but true RUSH fans have never forgotten Rutsey, his body of work, or the fact that he was a founding member of their band.  Peace be with you, John.

Movie Review: Zombie Strippers!

On By RevMortisIn Movies - Horror1 Comment

Remember when I heralded Jenna Jameson’s new movie “Zombie Strippers!” as The Most Anticipated Movie of the Summer? Obviously, my tongue was well in cheek when I wrote those lines but guess what? I saw the film last night & I’m happy to report it is as fun and full of campiness as could be hoped!

Granted, one must approach anything with this irreverent of a title with a certain attitude; an expectation of tastelessness, of gore & nudity, and probably plot holes the size of New Jersey. Check, check & check. But it’s also got decent FX, a storyline that goes in a different direction than is typical for such fare, and heck – even the acting is tolerable. Yes, EVEN JENNA – who’s zombified Barbie walk cracked me up every time I saw it. Just goes to show that the girl can take a joke – or perhaps tell one.

Our story revolves around the standard apocalyptic virus infestation. This time it’s an underground strip club run by Ian (Robert Englund), specifically his bevy of dancers (including Jameson & singer Roxy Saint [Pictured]) who begin to dine on patrons in between sets of hyperactive, mortified sultriness on stage. Due to the . . .ahem, illegal nature of his establishment (as well as the newfound profitability of the undead talent), Ian decides to just ‘clean up’ after the girls each night and ride this wave out. That’ll end well, right?

Jameson plays Kat, the veteran star dancer of the club, as well as the first to be gnawed on by a rabidly contagious defector from a secret military squad who’d been cleaning up experiments gone awry just down the street. The newly dead Kat becomes so popular with the club regulars that one by one her co-dancers join her – usually by choice, so as to share in the spoils.

Implausible – yes. Derivative of every other zombie film – not so much. In fact, writer/director Jay Lee should be applauded for avoiding the traditional & instead finding an amusing twist to a well told tale. While clearly not dealing with a mammoth budget, he does keep the theme in line with what EVERY fanboy is expecting yet still infusing some political & social commentary along the line for good measure.

Unfortunately, the stereotyping of many characters – especially the Mexican janitor – detracts from the more responsible subtexts within the film and is probably my biggest complaint with it’s execution. That aside, I did enjoy the show and recommend it to anyone intrigued (and not offended) by it’s title.

My Day at the Race for the Cure

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Saturday was Columbus’ annual leg of the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation’s Race for the Cure.  It’s a 5k race/walk to raise money & awareness for breast cancer research.  For the first time since we’ve been in Columbus, my wife and I walked in it this year.  Have you ever seen 40,000 people marching for a common cause?  Look at this;

If it looks like that’s people way up at the edge of sight, it’s ’cause it is.  The line seemed to go on forever.  Behind me, it extended equally as far into the distance.  Nowadays, you don’t see a turnout like this very often, not like back in the 60’s.  It was an amazing event to be a participant in, and very thought provoking as you see the support it receives, the lives it touches.  Difficult not to be deeply moved in such a circumstance.  

Plus, on a lighter note, the day ended nicely with a lunch on the patio at Frog Bear & Wild Boar, downing a few cold ones.  All in all, a morning well spent!

8 Really Bad Habits While Using the Men’s Room

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After 42 years of using public Men’s restrooms, I feel qualified to categorize a set of irritating & obnoxious behaviors that should be addressed openly here, in hopes of educating the public and creating a better tomorrow. That, or maybe I just like to bitch. Either way, habits I hate in the Men’s room;

  • Multi-taskers – Self important knucklehead who pees with one hand, chats on the cell phone with the other.  NO ONE is that important.  Even the President of the United States of America takes out 5 minutes to take a leak.  Get over yourself.
  • Spitters – Can’t whiz without spitting into the urinal, usually with a lot of loud phlegm hacking first.  A sure sign of a small dick ’cause you wouldn’t do that if there was danger of hitting something.
  • Homophobes – looks straight ahead at the wall, thinks everyone is trying to look at his unit.  Another sign of a small penis.  Might be belligerent if drinking.
  • The Auto-Erogenous – Rubs his thing while peeing, sometimes may moan loudly.  Needs either a girlfriend or a prostate exam.
  • Conversationalists – I’ll admit, if I’ve had a few beers I can be guilty of this one myself.  Socializing while in the Men’s room is like an ancient tribal custom but being an asshole that rants & raves insanely – that’s just douchiness.  Your team lost – get over it.
  • The Inseparable Lovers – This ain’t the mile high club & you ain’t running for office in here!  So get a room, you two!
  • The Insecure – Won’t pee at the urinals, has to go in the dark safety of the stalls – LIKE A GIRL!  Do I even have to say what he’s trying to hide?
  • Gross Bastards – There’s a ton of different ways to qualify for this one, as men are generally nasty sons of bitches by nature.  That being said, I’m not talking about your garden variety scratching of ass or farting while peeing (which is just plain hilarious.  ALWAYS!).  No, I’m talking about seriously verboten behaviour such as sink pooping, whizzing on floors, vomiting in the trash, not flushing or washing your hands when finished.  Just shoot yourself if you do this stuff on any day other than your birthday or your first bachelor party.  And even then, you better have a damn good excuse!

Alright, so this list is far from complete.  I reserve the right to add to it as inspiration strikes me.  And since I’ve only visited Ladies’ rooms on a lucky few occasions (see ‘The Inseparable Lovers’ above), any females that would like to share their experiences should feel free to comment below.

Harvard Researchers Debunk Violent Video Game Myth

On By RevMortisIn In The News1 Comment

Yahoo has an interesting article about the release of a new book from two Harvard researchers entitled “Grand Theft Childhood: The Surprising Truth About Violent Videogames and What Parents Can Do”. In a nutshell, by talking (yes, TALKING) to over 1,200 middle school students over a period of 2 years, the authors found no evidence that links a “causal relationship between violent video games and violent behavior”.

In fact they go so far as to further assert my favorite point, that their study is “suggesting the possibility that the kids attracted to mature-rated games were naturally aggressive to begin with”. Ya’ think?

Now let’s take this a step further – can’t we also correlate that this information would also apply to other favorite ‘Pariah Passtimes’ of the media such as, I dunno, maybe heavy metal music, violent horror movies or Dungeons & Dragons? I think we can.

It all goes back to the parents & having decent parenting skills, I tell ya’. Don’t believe me? Meet my kids sometime and see how well adjusted & normal they are compared to my kooky ass. That should be a Harvard study all it’s own.