A Field Guide to Metal Concert Topography Part I

Been meaning to do this for quite some time now. As a veteran concert-goer, I have developed my own vernacular for the layout of a standard concert venue and the way an audience typically congregates – if there really is such a thing as standard or typical in either of these instances. I’m bypassing the basic stuff – the soundboard area, the moshpit (or “pit”), backstage, the freaking MAIN stage. Ok, you know those. But do you know about . . .

The Pit Barrier – This is the group of guys who like being around the pit, but are smart enough not to get bounced into it. They block the more sedate concert folk from the frothing fiends that are knocking the shit out of each other in the pit itself.  My good friend Steve goes here almost every show.  Aside from him, this is a dubious group – some are good guys who don’t want to see anyone get hurt, & some are assholes too chickenshit to actually go in themselves (but not above taking a cheap shot every now & again at someone else).  Two thoughts here – First, if you go into a show with the intention of hurting someone else, you shouldn’t even have come out (you should probably be in jail).   Second, like everything else with concerts, know your surroundings & don’t wander into places you have no business being.

The Drinking Section – I’ve alluded to this in the past.  Anywhere near the soundboard, and sometimes even in the back portions of the floor, where folks are standing around with huge cups of beer – is the Drinking Section.  This is NOT THE PLACE TO DANCE AROUND LIKE A NINNY!  Let that sink in a second – this is NOT the pit.  You wanna mosh?  Get in the pit!  You wanna drink?  Stand your ground!  But do NOT be a wuss & act all tough. . . and then start pushing your buddies around in the Drinking Section.  You might as well put a sign on your back stating “I’m a Dumbass”, because that’s what everyone near you is thinking.  And yes, eventually the badass Biker who’s wearing his own beer will kick your ass!  So save your aerobics for the gym, eh Barbara?

Last one for tonight is the Whore-Us Line – This is a mostly Glam band phenomenon I’m noticing.  These are the tarted up ladies that line-up around the stage, singing EVERY word to EVERY song, in between flashing their boobs and crying like drunken banshees.  Bands love them and male audience members will always attempt to hit on them (failing miserably).   The girls themselves will end their evening one of two ways:  The whole crew ends up backstage due to an invite from some nefarious looking roadie or they end up fighting amongst themselves (which of course, is HOT!).  Word to the wise – if you didn’t come to the venue with them, stay clear.  They will drink too much, and then turn on anything & everything around them.  Avoid their siren’s call.

Ok, enough for one evening.  More wisdom to be dispensed as I feel like it.  🙂

Napalm Death’s Barney Greenway: “I Like Soft Rock”

Blabbermouth.net -Actually a link to another link, but I thought it was an interesting interview with Napalm Death’s Barney Greenway where he reveals, among other things, a love of Soft Rock.  Aw, cut him a break – he admits to loving ALL music (something that I claim as well). So as he might say – ‘bugger off’ if you don’t like it.

Met Mr. Greenway back when they were touring with Obituary a few years back.  Nice enough guy as was bassist Shane Embury (who sports some of the most unusual hair in all of rock).

Definitely not a show for people can’t handle extreme metal because let’s face it, they are pretty much the cat’s ass in the extreme stuff.

Here’s their video for ‘When All Is Said And Done’ off 2006’s ‘Smear Campaign’ disc

Pic of the Week – EnemyNside


Signs that you MAY have a drinking problem – #107) inability to put down a beer even for a promo picture of your band.  Well, I guess if I knew that my lead singers’ big-ass head was not gonna leave any room for my mug, I might not bother either.

These are the Italian Thrash metallers EnemyNside – you can check’em out on Myspace by clicking HERE.   I kinda dig their song ‘Unfold’.

Rob Halford Trademarks “Metal God” Name

Got this one off KNAC but apparently Rob Halford (if you don’t know who that is, please exit this site by typing the words ‘Disney.com’ into your browser & then hitting ENTER) has recently trademarked the name ‘Metal God’.  Click the link to read all about it.

My question is. . . really?  Only NOW!?  He’s pretty much had that unofficial moniker since the song ‘Metal Gods’ was released on the album ‘British Steel’ in 1980.  In more recent times, it’s the name of his own production company (Metal God Entertainment) so I’m really surprised that it’s taken him this long to make such a move.  God knows Gene Simmons would’ve had the term trademarked, patented & insured by Lloyds of London before the 80’s ended.

On a side note, the domain ‘Metalgod.com’ should be cheap enough for him to pick up too.  If you think MY site is bad, ‘Metalgod.com’ is apparently being considered for use as an information source about . . . Switzerland.

No, I’m not making that up.

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans Soundtrack Online

Got a news release a few days ago about the upcoming movie ‘Underworld: Rise of the Lycans’ & it’s Electronic/Industrial soundtrack.   Not only does the movie look excellent from the trailer (it comes out TOMORROW!) but the soundtrack sounds pretty awesome as well, what with tracks by Wes Borland, Maynard James Keenan & Puscifer, Deftones, The Cure, Perry Farrell, A.F.I. and up & coming industrialists Combichrist – just to name a few.  Cool thing is the ENTIRE CD is available for streaming off of Myspace!  Plus Wes Borland’s remix of William Control’s “Deathclub” is available as a video online.

Details below;

The video for the Wes Borland/Renholder remix of William Control’s “Deathclub” is now on MySpace! The track features Matt Skiba of Alkaline Trio on backing vocals and Wes Borland on Guitar.
The video has a lot of footage from the upcoming
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans.
You can check it out here:

Also, the entire album is streaming over at MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/underworldrise


01. Puscifer – Lighten Up Francis (JLE Dub Mix)
02. The Cure (f/ Maynard James Keenan/Puscifer and Milla) – Underneath The Stars (Renholder Remix)
03. Perry Farrell – Nasty Little Perv (Renholder Remix)
04. Deftones – Hole In The Earth (Renholder Remix)
05. AFI – Miss Murder (VNV Nation Remix)
06. Alkaline Trio – Over And Out (Renholder Remix)
07. William Control (f/ Matt Skiba) – Deathclub (Wes Borland/Renholder Remix)
08. Genghis Tron – Board Up The House (Renholder Remix)
09. Blaqk Audio – Stiff Kittens (Jnrsnchz Blaqkout Remix)
10. Thrice – Broken Lungs (Legion Of Doom Remix)
11. Combichrist – Today We Are All Demons (Beneath The World Mix)
12. Black Light Burns – I Want You To
13. Drop Dead, Gorgeous – Two Birds, One Stone (Wes Borland/Renholder Remix)
14. King Black Acid – Let’s Burn
15. From First To Last – Tick Tock Tomorrow (Wes Borland/Renholder Remix)
16. Ghosts On The Radio – Steal My Romance

Wings, Rings & Beer Tubes

big-beerFriday night the wife, one of the twins (Hayley) and myself decided to try out a restaurant/bar we hadn’t been to in a long time – Buffalo Wings & Rings.  Not to be confused with BW3’s (sorry, that’s Buffalo Wild Wings these days), BW&R have a similar menu and sports bar vibe but in my opinion – better food & prices.  Don’t get me wrong, I love BW3’s sauces but think their wings are tiny.  Plus, I prefer breaded.  Anyone who knows me knows that I practically get my mail delivered at B.C. Rooster’s & am no stranger to Hooter’s either, but consider myself a wing aficionado. I’ll try anywhere at least once!

On the wing front I gotta say, BW&R’s flappers are just ok.  They’re breaded but only lightly (which can be a good thing depending on how health conscious you are) but the sauces were thin and not quite as tasty as some of their competitors.  They did excel at the gyro, kettle chips and cheddar fries that the rest of my table consumed but there was one other item that really turned the tables in their favor.

What BW&R had going for them the most this fine evening was an awesome device called the Beer Tube.  It holds 100 oz. of the Nectar of the Gods, which as it turns out was an adequate amount for my wife (who was driving) and myself (who was not, so guess who drank 80% of it!?).  That’s me in the blurry phone pic at the scene of the crime.  And no, we hadn’t started yet – the phone just takes crappy pics, mmk?

Look at the tube tho, will ya’?  Tis’ a thing of beauty to behold.  Reminds me of the yards of beer I’ve consumed in pubs (such as this fine establishment in Colorado Springs) in my youth.  With a commercial grade tap at the bottom, it was easy to pour and with the height of this bad boy – was even easier to find my table from any restroom trips! But like a yard of ale, you do run the risk of your beverage getting to room temperature before you finish it, so I’d recommend one of these for a small group.  It was $10 bucks to fill but you only had a single choice of brew – Coors Light.  Ah well, it could be worse.

Anyhow, not sure if these babies are featured in every Buffalo Wings & Rings but I did think it added to the experience. Overall, a recommended family outting.

Two thumbs, and one empty glass – up!

New Look

A few posts back I mentioned that my existing theme was having problems adjusting to WordPress 2.7.  Actually, it had always had problems being viewed correctly on monitors with lower resolution settings,  so in the back of my mind it’s been a nagging goal to revamp.

So here it is – at least for now.  Minimalist, but allowing me to add my own widgets etc. as necessary.   Created by Andreas Viklund using a wordpress template with the outrageously creative name of ‘wp-andreas01’, I’ve inserted my usual header pic & that’s about it.  For now.  Will be adding/changing as time permits until I get something I like, or scrap it for another theme.

Let me know if something is broken.

Pioneer FINALLY Killing Production of All Laserdisc Players

Engadget – File this under the heading of “They still made those!?”, Pioneer Electronics announced today that it is killing production of all remaining models of Laserdisc players.  No word yet on thriving 8 track & Reel-to-Reel business.

Ok, I made that last part up but seriously. . . WHO hasn’t heard about this new thingy called a DVD?  I guess with the advent of Blu-Ray (HOW many years ago?), Pioneer has finally decided to except that the Laserdisc format just isn’t going to catch on.

On a side note, I know of about 3 people who will be seriously disheartened to hear this news.  Sorry guys, your ‘awesome’ collection is finally, truly obsolete.  I’d offer you a membership form in the Betamax Owners Group but their doesn’t seem to be such a beast.

Ah well, thanks to my buddy Steve for the link.

Where ya’ been, Rev?

Might not see me on here quite as much for a while as work has gotten busier.  Fear not, I check this site a few times/day minimum & won’t go too long without an update.  Even if only a shorter one (ok, who just cheered out there !?)

Also, I’m aware some of the links are broken due to the recent upgrade to WordPress 2.7 – so I have to work out those issues.  Or totally revamp the site, which is also an option (but time consuming, so we’ll see).

Either way, please bear with me while real life intervenes a bit.