Of Scantily Clad Lady Pirates & Cursing Priests

So it’s a slow news day & then I found this amusing link on Fark.com, which in turn sends one to the WNEP website who originally broke it.  This one’s a love story, I think – but you be the judge.

It would seem a sexy female pirate statue outside of an antique shop in Girardville, PA is causing a bit of a stir. . . specifically with a priest who’s taken to protesting that it be removed & on one occasion even “cursed it”.

Me thinkest he doth protest a little too much, especially with the “I’ll visit it & pray for it’s removal” line.  Uhm Father, are you praying for the statue’s removal or the statue’s CLOTHING??  And remove it to where – your place perhaps? His reciting the definition of soft-core porn doesn’t really reinforce his innocence all that much either.

And people wonder why organized religion gets such a bad name – take a cold shower, Padre. Besides, there’s one just like it up at Put-in Bay – I should know, I fondled it when I was drinking up there last summer.

Death of a Weekend

Y’know, Sundays bum me out sometimes. They always seem to me to be the death of the weekend, the last agonizing throes of freedom before the weekly gauntlet is to be run on Monday morning. Fuckin’ ray of sunshine, ain’t I?

Worse, I usually have to go in to work for a while (which was true again today) and then I spend the evening brooding over what I didn’t get done & what’s waiting for me in the morning. I know I’m not the only one out there who does this . . . hell, my Dad did it for years. Still sucks tho.

Thankfully, I’ve fought off the blues today by watching 3 hours of X-files, and jamming to Hanzel Und Gretyl all afternoon. Tonight, the festivities culminate with enjoying one of the third series of ‘8 Films to Die For’ – not sure which one it’ll be, my daughter Jill is picking it out. Still, if one must fight against creeping doom there’s nothing better than a decent horror movie to do it with.

Fukken Uber!

Al & The Black Cats – Ravari Room, Columbus OH 3-27-09

Another great show at the Ravari room, this time an eclectic triple bill featuring punk-infused bluegrass and decent psychobilly.  Here’s how it shook out;

Hellsfire Sinners – were first up and played a great full set of their unusual mixture of bluegrass, country, punk with a touch of metal thrown in for good measure.  This is the second time I’ve seen Alan Dude & Co. perform live, this particular outing going off without the technical issues from before (thankfully!).  High energy drinkin’ music (as I like to think of it) was performed flawlessly and included all my favs – ‘Psycho’, ’99’, ‘Piss on You’, ‘Zombie Killer’ and ‘Ain’t Comin’ Home’ – the later I’d never heard live before, so that was a thrill.  Great stuff!

Next up were the psychobilly lunatics out of Queens, The Arkhams -who get bonus points for being named after the fictional city created by one of my all-time favorite writers, H. P. Lovecraft.  But I doubt even Lovecraft’s fertile imagination could’ve thought up this concoction of 60’s surf rock and macabre punk – think Dick Dale meets The Misfits.  Guitarist Bobcat Arkham was a fretburner possessed, alongside drummer Seanzi Dirtbag,  second guitarist Johnny Beernuts and mad scientist on the upright bass, Matt the Knife.  Well crafted songs, most centering around insanity (which I can dig), included ‘Insane’, ‘Bad Luck”, ‘Next Time You See Me’ and my personal fav, the very catchy ‘Hell Is Where All The Good Records Are’.

Last & loudest, Michigan’s own Al & The Black Cats – who interestingly enough, perform sans Al these days. No matter, this is a heavy duty threesome that nicely marry heavy metal with rockabilly, even performing an excellent cover of Motorhead’s “Overkill’ as part of their set!  Singer/bassist Eric Soules (The ‘Les Claypool of Upright Bass’), fierce stringmeister Tony Cozzaglio on guitar and Hugh Skiffington on drums are guaranteed to enthrall even my metal loving brethern with their chunky rhythms & full-on stage intensity.  Seriously, I had intended to bail early but found I couldn’t leave because of the powerful performance these guys were serving up – walking on the bar,  flalling around the stage like caged demons – big fun!

I would definitely recommend any of these acts if they come to your area as they all put their souls on the stage.  Below is a Youtube video of Al & The Black Cats ‘The Light Hit Her Eyes’ to give you a taste.  Check’em out!

Game With Fame: Matt Cameron of Pearl Jam

Here’s your chance to jam with Matt Cameron, drummer for Pearl Jam on the Xbox Live (must be a Gold member) playing Rock Band 2.  Seriously, how cool would that be?

Friend: “What You Do Last Night?”

You: “Oh, jammed with Matt Cameron. . . y’know, played a little ‘Aqualung'”

Friend: “Nuh-uh”

You’re right, no one would believe you.  But it would still be freakin’ kewl, I say!  Anyhow, here’s the link if you’re interested. . . (and I double dog dare you to challenge him on ‘Alive’).


New Dr. Pepper Commercial Featuring Gene Simmons

Blabbermouth.net – The third installment of the “trust me. . . I’m a doctor” commercials by Dr. Pepper will be unveiled next week, featuring “Dr. Love” himself – Gene Simmons & son Nick. Follow the link to see some preliminary photos.

Pretty cool actually, because Gene is wearing the armor and codpiece that he wore in the “Rock n Roll Over” era KISS. Y’know, back when more than half the band were original members?

Now I know many will be SHOCKED at yet another blatant display of commercialism on the part of Mr. Simmons, but I for one am not a hater. The dude is self-made, lives with a Playboy playmate and raised two decent kids despite his fame and fortune. If he wants to earn a buck or two, let him.

If the next KISS album is called ‘Calling Dr. Pepper’ however. . . I reserve the right to retract those statements.

Rock On The Range Is Coming. . .

RockOnTheRange.com – Third annual edition of what has become THE premiere rock event in the US has announced the day-to-day line-ups for this two day festival May 16th & 17th at Columbus Crew Stadium here in Ohio. And what a line-up! Slipknot, Motley Crue, Korn, Avenged Sevenfold, Alice in Chains, Buckcherry, Shinedown, Static X, Saliva, The Used, Clutch, Saving Abel, All That Remains . . . 36 bands in total on 3 stages.

I’ve never been to this show (yeah, I know – ME!?! OF ALL PEOPLE!?!?!) but this year – ok, I’m intrigued. That’s one hell of a roster to ignore. So you rock promoters out there (and I know a few of you come through here), send a fun-loving, Hunter S. Thompson -esque reporter to the show. Guaranteed to present a perspective no one else will have – be it backstage, mid-pit or in jail – get an edgy story from an even edgier concert veteran. I’m talking about me, in case you’re wondering.  I’m available for interviewing, color commentary or beer testing.  Boob oggling at no extra charge.

Well, in case my begging doesn’t work, here’s the official widget (you know me & the widgets) so the least ya’ can do is play with my widget.  Snicker, snicker.

Music Review: Papa Roach – Metamorphosis

papa-roachPapa Roach has an image problem.  When starting to work on this review, I popped their new CD “Metamorphosis” into Winamp & immediately noticed they were categorized as ‘Rap Metal’.   While that might have been true at one point, this is a band that has obviously been influenced by their time on Cruefest (specifically Sixx A.M) but more on that later.  They might still fall somewhere in the nu metal genre, but it’s unfair to write them off too easily with a simple label.  I want you to keep an open mind, mmmk?

Now, that being said let’s talk about the fifth major label release from the boys out of Cali.  If you’re a fan, you’re not gonna be disappointed with this one.  They’ve strayed little from the territory covered in 2006’s “The Paramour Sessions” – in fact my only complaint is several songs are strongly derivative of their own earlier works (or in the case of “March Out of the Darkness”, a little vintage Pink Floyd perhaps).

Undeniably, after ten years as a band, vocalist Jacoby Shaddix, guitarist Jerry Horton, bassist Tobin Esperance & new drummer Tony Palermo know how to mix a decent, guitar fueled rock anthem with blatant radio accessability – even if their hormonal subject matter might make such airplay difficult in certain instances.   Clearly there has been a focus on marketing with this release, but no more than any other MTV worthy rock band & in my opinion, not at the expense of quality song writing.

However, the first two singles “Lifeline” & “Hollywood Whore” are not the best representation of what is contained in this CD – at least as I see it.  Both of those tunes are more ballad-ish, while superior chant-alongs like “I Almost Told You That I Loved You” and “Live This Down” SHOULD be what is cranking out on the air waves.  Again, the lyrical content is probably the issue here but would love to hear those tunes played live.

Speaking of lyrics, Sixx A.M’s vocalist James Michael had a hand in co-writing the words for 5 of the songs (including the last two mentioned) and frankly, his prescence is strongly felt but doesn’t explain the apparent Jekyll/Hyde nature between some of the tracks; some being angry break-up rants, others seemingly about addiction and still others being thinly veiled homages to backstage naughtiness.  Jacoby seems unafraid to spill his guts lyrically, which makes for an all-over-the-road feel if playing the disc straight through but does leave one appreciating that the bad boy frontman has his demons as well.  “Carry Me” for example has a great chorus with “the hardest ones to love, are the ones who need it most” – possible influenced by the very public problems the band had with former drummer/founding member Dave Buckner.   Honest without being schmaltzy,  “Carry Me” would’ve been my vote for first single if something slower was needed.

So in the end, I’ve found myself replaying this disc a lot but not for the songs I originally thought would pull me in.  Instead, I found little gems hidden away that had me hitting the ‘repeat’ button more than once after finding them.  There’s a little bit of everything – rockers (including a guitar solo by Mick Mars on “Into The Light”),  odes to survival & overcoming obstacles and then the  occasional slower tempoed piece.  But thankfully no real filler.

The guys are currently touring with Avenged Sevenfold & Buckcherry, and this seems to be a great fit for where they’re at musically these days.  Check them out when they come to your area & do give the CD a listen.

This ain’t just your momma’s rock band anymore.

Miss Me?

You know a man’s busy when he doesn’t even update his blog about St. Patrick’s Day. Now that’s just sad, eh? The Christmas day for alcoholics & mums the word on the ole’ Rim of Hell?

Well, I DID go celebrate the day (OF COURSE!) but have been very busy with the paying gig recently. But take heart. . . I have in my possession a pre-release of the new Papa Roach CD ‘Metamorphosis’ & will be doing a full review within the next day or so. If you like them, you’ll really like the new disc. . . that’s all I’m gonna say for now.

Ok, ok – there’s a widget too.  Check it out & you can hear the first single ‘Lifeline’.

Pic of the Week: Sanctification


This bunch of happy-go-lucky guys is a group called Sanctification. They’re out of Sweden & you can listen to tracks from their forthcoming CD ‘Black Reign’ on Myspace HERE. Good stuff that sounds like maybe somebody has been listening to a few Morbid Angel or Behemoth albums. Guest vocals include Peter Tägtgren & Emperor Magus Caligula, so they do have some pedigree as well.

But this pic. . . well, I just can’t help but be reminded of the episode of ‘Lost in Space’ when the android superman IDAK Alpha 12 was walking around shouting ‘Crush, Kill, DESTROY!’. Ok, that was back in 1965 so maybe you weren’t around (I was less then 1, so I had to see that episode as a rerun too!).

Anyhow, maybe not the best publicity photo to be taken seriously with, but that could just be me.