Burger King & The Super Seven Incher

This is probably a record for the longest I’ve gone without posting since I started this blog.  Sorry, been at Comfest for 3 days and then another Clipper’s game after that.  I’ll fill you in on my Comfest stories later . . . too tired tonight.  So for something completely different;

My buddy Steve sent me this article on EW.com’s Popwatch blog re: Burger King’s ad campaign for their new ‘Super Seven Incher’. Yeah, it’s even worse than that sounds. With the first line of copy reading “IT’LL BLOW your mind away” this may get ole’ BK on the radar of every right-wing religious faction in the hemisphere.

Go read the article before somebody cows to pressure (no pun) and pulls the plug on this campaign.

Forbes Top Earning Musicians Revealed

Wanna be depressed? Aw, c’mon, you know you do.  So Blabbermouth.net had a link to an interesting article on Forbes about the top earning musicians over the past 12 months.  No. 1 is Madonna, which surprises me since no one I know gives a damn about her anymore.

No. 2 is Celine Dion – color me surprised again for the SAME reason as for Madonna.  No. 3 is Beyonce – ok, that chick is everywhere so it’s not surprising that my future second wife, I mean the lovely Queen B, would be puttin’ away the cabbage.

AC/DC is in a three way tie for 6th place with Rascal Flatts (who at least have members from my hometown) and Coldplay.  Each group cleared 60 mil this year.

Now here’s the kicker – Bon Jovi is #11.  WHAT!?  Not ‘Van Has-Been’, not KI$$, not even the Crue.  But Bon Jovi?  CLEARLY either I am out of touch with the tastes of the masses these days, or I’m out of touch with what is sold at Wal-Mart. I mean NAME a Bon Jovi song from the last album! Name the damn album if you don’t know any of the songs!?

Exactly. You don’t know and neither do I.  So how the hell did he get to be #11, earning $50 million this year?

Somewhere out there, Alec John Such just kicked a dog.

Bigelf Join Progressive Nation Tour

bigelf_progressivenationJust heard today from my peeps that Bigelf have been added to the second incarnation of the Progressive Nation tour with headliners Zappa Plays Zappa & the legendary Dream Theater!

Of course, you realize this is partly my doing.  Yep, ’tis true.  Back in February when I saw the band, I told lead vocalist – keyboardist Damon Fox that he and the boys would be HUGE within a year – to which he replied “I hope so” with a smile.  Now it would seem they are poised to prove once again not only the Reverend’s most excellent taste in music but deftness with  hyperbole as well.    You heard it here first, faithful readers.

Below is an excerpt from the rather lengthy press release issued by none other than Mike Portnoy (of Dream Theater, dummy).

Congrats Damon, Ace, Duffy & Froth!


Los Angeles’ Bigelf are my personal favorite new band to come along in many years…their latest CD “Cheat The Gallows” is my favorite album of the year and I already had positioned them onto the European run of Progressive Nation in the Fall….with them now joining us on PN09 in North America as well, it looks like world domination is now not that far out of reach for them!
Pretty soon, everyone will hopefully be falling for their retro, psychedelic, progressive, hard rock, doom metal as hard as I have!

Man Found Dead At Bonnaroo

Spinner.com – Did you hear about this, the cleaning crew for Bonnaroo found the corpse of a twenty-something male at the campgrounds?   It will be interesting to see how this unfolds – did someone leave the poor bastard (“hey guys, something is definitely wrong with Phil!”) or was he an unfortunate hanger-on who maybe overdid it.

This marks the 7th death in eight years for the Tennessee concert event, makes me wonder how that stacks up to other large scale concert events like Ozzfest  (which has GOT to hold the police arrest record, if nothing else).  God knows I’ve tried myself to put Ozzfest on the map for drunk & disorderly conduct.  Well, not anymore – I’m more mature now.  That’s my story & I’m stickin’ to it.

Daisy Duke Night at Hooters is Coming

Since I’ve received some inquiries, this Friday (6/19) is Daisy Duke’s Night at Hooters (at least in my area, it is). And yes, I’ll be there – kind of a celebrity-but-not-really appearance. So buy me a beer if you show up. . .

For those of you unfamiliar with theme night at one of the greatest wing establishments on the planet (the other being Roosters), the ladies dress up. There, now you know.

So come support some American made product and have a pitcher (or three) of beer. I know I will.

Marilyn Manson Interview

As if Reverend Manson would be interviewed by Reverend Mortis, right?  pfffft!  No, below are 4 links to an interview with the self-proclaimed God of Fuck as found on Shockhound.  It’s good stuff, kiddies – this ain’t no MTV interview.  Here’s the press kit info and links;

Chapter I – Manson talks about his identity issues, the rawness of his new album and the meaning behind its lead-off track, “Devour.”

Chapter II – Manson talks about the stories behind the tracks “Pretty As A Swastika” and “Arma-Goddamn-Motherfuckin-Geddon,” and why he almost gave up making music.

Chapter III – Manson talks about voting while drunk, writing “We’re From America,” and how he’s a different person than he was at the beginning of The High End of Low.

Chapter IV – Manson talks about reuniting with Twiggy, and why he would never do reality TV.

As usual, not for the faint of heart. Enjoy!

Park Street Festival 2009

coupla-dorksThis was how I spent my Saturday night, hanging out on Park Street for the annual festival. What a blast!

About a two block section of the city is closed off for this affair, with a decent sized stage set up at the corner of Park & Spruce streets.  I’d estimate 10 to 20,000 folks showed up to eat, drink and enjoy the line-up of bands.

The wife and I meandered into the thick of it after having some of the best sushi I’ve ever had at Tyfoon (we’ll definitely be back!) & then deciding to check out all the hub-bub.

The first band we saw play was Dot Dot Dot out of Chicago.  Horrible name, pretty good pop oriented rock band boasting two hot gals on guitar & bass.  The band switched off instruments every couple of songs so every member got a spotlight.  They played a lot of ‘dance’ tunes but did cover some  Whitesnake & Black Sabbath.  For this type of festival, they were a perfect fit.  Plus the ladies made me want to volunteer to be a roadie!  Or love slave.

Later, we hung out with my buddy Rubio (pictured to the right) and acquired some nifty light-up devil horns (courtesy of Red Devil energy drink).  Something about seeing the entire patio of Gaswerks lit up with devil horns had me all nostalgic for Halloween.

We had to leave just as headliners Candlebox were taking the stage but I couldn’t help but notice their first song suffered from a really bad sound mix.  Hope that got cleared up for the rest of the set.

Had a great time, will make this festival a ‘must do’ every year moving forward.

Guitar Hero: WTF

KNAC.com – According to Philthy Phil on KNAC, Activision has confirmed that the upcoming Guitar Hero: Van Halen will not include Michael Anthony or Sammy Hagar. WHAT!?! Look, I’m not a huge fan of the Van Hagar days, but many people are and they were an incredible commercial success. To say otherwise would be asinine denial, pure & simple.

But worse, no Michael Anthony?? THEE bassist behind both incarnations of Van Halen throughout their storied career, not represented on the new game?? Preposterous!! I know Michael and Eddie have had their differences & the finger-pointing continues as to why Anthony is no longer a part of the band (cough, cough, nepotism, cough) but to ignore his contributions is like releasing Guitar Hero: Beatles minus George Harrison. It’d be like Donkey Kong with no Mario (ok, just dated myself, didn’t I?).

Once again, we are shown how greed and hubris outweigh integrity & quality in today’s marketplace. Boycott this game, I say. Let it decay on the shelves until a REAL edition can be released, with EVERY version of VH included. What an insult to Van Halen fans, and music fans in general.

Should just call this release Guitar Hero: Why The Fuck Bother.

Real Superheroes

CNN.com – Remember those nerds you used to make fun of in High School? The ones who grew up to be costume wearing superfreaks, I mean superfans, and hung out at conventions, usually winding down their evenings with a restraining order against them from Leonard Nimoy?

Well CNN (linked above) has an interesting story about how people like that have started to take things. . . to the next level. Yes, I mean they’re patrolling the mean streets as costumed super heroes now (This should end well. dead pool anyone?).

I recall in the 80’s hearing how there were gangs that collected the berets of Guardian Angels. How long before ‘hero banging’ becomes en vogue amongst the more nefarious amongst us? Or Cape Collecting??

Don’t get me wrong, these folks are brave and if they CAN make a difference in crime (which is a big IF), good for them. But untrained civilians in a warzone have always had another term in the military – they’re called TARGETS. I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but the comicbook crowd should probably either really join the police force & go about this the legitimate way, or discreetly video record the criminal activity (a la Rodney King’s beating).

I blame Sam Raimi for all of this, personally.

Back From The Lake. . .

Just got back from spending the weekend at Indian Lake & what a trip it was. I’ll give you the abridged breakdown on account of no one really cares about other people’s vacations.

Friday – Set up camp, then went out to eat at an overpriced seafood place. Found a decent bar called Froggy’s At the Lake where a band called Time Machine was playing classic rock hits all night. I’ve included the link since about 134 bands seem to go by that name if you Google it. Anyhow, they were a tight, jammin’ foursome – the riffs from lead guitarist Carmen were especially solid.   Hope to see these guys from my old hometown of Dayton again sometime on the circuit.

Saturday – rented a pontoon boat and spent the day with my wife, my sister and her husband cruising all over the lake (and doing everything I could not to damage the $30K+ watercraft).  Thankfully I was successful but in being so over cautious missed my chance to go all pirate-like on the locals.  Dined at Cranberry Resort – who have OUTSTANDING hamburgers, I might add – and then later found my wife and I the target of a swinging (& somewhat creepy) married couple at a nearby watering hole. Evaded their talons & went back to the campsite where it was safer for the rest of the evening.

Sunday – Eggs & Sausage by campfire for breakfast, packed up headed home. Stopped by Ohio Caverns and took the tour on the way.  After about 10 minutes from leaving there, had a nice blowout on the highway with the camper.  2 hours later (and a lot of education about how poorly prepared we were for a flat with that beast), we’d gotten the tire replaced and were speeding homeward.

Now I’m here at my computer, freshly showered and reminiscing.  I really wished I had gone all pirate on the lake yesterday – no one EVER expects pirates on a lake!  Maybe next time. . .