Austrian Death Machine Cover Motorhead’s “Ironfist” – Interesting article over at Sin’s, discussing one of my favorite new discoveries – Austrian Death Machine (sideproject of Tim Lambesis from As I Lay Dying) who are streaming a single off their new album ‘Double Brutal’ (out TODAY). Not just any single mind you, but Motorhead’s “Ironfist”. Das ist Brutal, mein freund.

Here’s the video to one of their older singles, which I can NEVER seem to get out of my head ‘Get To The Choppa’. Enjoy!

Austrian Death Machine “Get To The Choppa”

Another Long, Strange Trip

TulumWell, I survived Cancun.  Beautiful place actually . . .  gorgeous beaches, sexy women & an entire city that really, really likes to drink.  Hey, there are far worse places to spend a week, right?

In the span of about 4 days, my wife and I swam with dolphins, snorkeled along the barrier reef, braved the markets of the hyper-aggressive street vendors, visited Hooters & the Hard Rock Cafe (OF COURSE!), zoomed around Isla de Mujeres on a golf cart, and explored the ancient ruins of Tulum (pictured).  Not a ton of resting on the beach, but plenty of fun all the same.

If you’ve never been to Cancun, I highly recommend the journey.  Met lots of folks from all over the world (am particularly fond of my new Scottish friends as well as a group from my hometown that we hooked up with) & realized while listening to Karaoke at poolside that tone-deafness is apparently an international epidemic.

While it was sure fun, I’m still glad to be back in the USA all the same.  Just wish I lived closer to a beach like this one.

Off To Cancun

My wife and I will be celebrating our 20th anniversary this week in  Cancun, Mexico.  So, no updates are likely for a while, but will fill you in on our trip to the ruins, snorkeling and drinking on the beach when I return.

Sadly, my early departure tomorrow necessitates me missing GWAR tonight at the Newport Music hall.  Sucks.  Would really like to have seen them again.  Ah well, Viva Mexico!

George Clooney Hates Facebook

A little off-topic for around here, but what the hell. A friend shared a quote from ole’ Geo that was published in People regarding his feelings towards Facebook;

I would rather have a rectal examination on live TV by a fellow with cold hands than have a Facebook page.

Ok then. So I guess Jorge won’t be joining my Mafia anytime soon, eh?  Thanks Olivia for sharing this one.

Rammstein’s New Video to Debut Tomorrow – Berlin Industrial metal gods, and favorite of the Rim of Hell staff, Rammstein will release the first video “Pussy” from their first new CD in 4 years entitled ‘Liebe Ist Für Alle Da’. Promos of this video have been circulating for a few weeks and well, have me intrigued what the boys from Deutschland have been up to lately.  Very quasi-sexual, xeno-erotic zanyness.   And you thought ‘Zwitter’ was edgy?

Still, I’m stoked as I love me some Rammstein (not physically, which probably needs to be clarified here considering how things are shaping up with this new material).  Below is the teaser from Blabbermouth, but follow the link ’cause they have album art & a tracklist as well.

Rammstein Promo PUSSY (18.09.2009)

Buried in a Neon Coffin

I’m going to Cancun in a few weeks, so the wife decided it would be a good idea for me to sign up for some tanning sessions. Something about my “cadaverous whale blubber” or something along those lines. Ok, so I’m really, really white, what can I say. My legs are so pale they’re practically invisible. If I was any whiter I’d be declared my own ethnicity – Achromatic. You get the idea.

Now, I’ve never tanned before in my life. Oh sure I tried laying out when I was in college, but that was always just a ruse to lay alongside skimpy co-eds & pretend I wasn’t ogling them. That never really worked, BTW. Apparently, I do not ‘ogle’ quietly enough.

Anyways, being a ‘tanning virgin’ (as my wife so eloquently introduced me to the hipster behind the counter at our local frying post), I had to have each step explained to me RIGHT AFTER I signed (in blood) several hundred pages of documents where I declare, among other things, I can’t sue them if they accidentally bake my gonads or I develop a third eye or anything else bizarre should happen as a direct result of being exposed to their ‘domestic grade’ radiation. I sign everything (like I have any choice, really?) and the wife is allowed to walk me back to my burial chamber where the Tanning Tomb awaits.

Ok, the whole ‘ritual’ of preparing to be tanned is. . . how to say this gently, GAY. There is nothing even remotely hetero about the posters on the walls, the flowery mirror (which I suspected housed a video camera which was making me the star of my own voyeur pic to be distributed on the internet later that evening), or various oils & spritzers & products that they sell at these places. Do we really need ganja scented oil? I think not. Ok, well maybe on the occasional Friday night. . . but I digress. There’s a quaint little towel to ‘dab’ the sweat if I need to. I don’t sweat in ‘dabs’ incidentally. If I’m a sweatin’, I’m doing it whole hog. Almost Literally.

The wife left the room, the 4 minute countdown begins. 4 minutes to get undressed, and position myself in the Tanning Tomb & lay there not thinking about all the germs from other people that I was now smearing on my naked, pale form. And I waited. Apparently, I may not ‘ogle’ well but I’m pretty slick with the undressing. And I waited. Was that a video camera behind that thermostat? With technology, not sure I could see a camera anyways. Bet they are filming me though. And I waited. . .


On my chin. I’m a bit too long for Tanning Tombs. Shuffle, shuffle. Feet don’t really need tanned do they? Won’t I have shoes on most of the time anyways?

Now, for the next 10 minutes all I can think about while I lay there, simmering, is EVERY stinking horror movie I’ve ever seen where somebody dies in a tanning bed. And with the heat, and the fans blowing shear furnace blasts of more heat onto me, I’m convinced the machine is either malfunctioning or I just heard someone put a lock on the ‘coffin’ to seal me in. My mind works funny that way.

It was a looooonnnnggg 10 minutes of charbroiling but I resisted the urge to open the ‘coffin’ lid. Nope, didn’t even do it once. And when it was FINALLY over (with a ‘ping’ almost as if to say “Fries are up!!”), I took my steaming, tingly carcass & got dressed again. And I felt a bit embarrassed of myself, as if I’d just voted to induct the New Kids on the Block into the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame. That kind of embarrassed.

And i don’t know which is worse; the fact that after all of that you can barely tell I did anything, or the fact that I have to go back about 5 more times. This trip better be worth it, that’s all I’m sayin’.

Sons of Anarchy

Season 2 is starting as I write this (thank God for a DVR). So I’ll be brief; Henry Rollins as a villain? I liked the show before, but now with Hank too!? The potential is limitless – hope they don’t fuck it up.

In an interesting marriage of synergy, ‘Gangland’ on the History channel was documenting the ‘Sons of Silence’ MC over the weekend. I’m sure that was just a coincidence, right? To me, doesn’t matter. Interesting TV is interesting TV, even if there’s a little corporate sponsorship somewhere.

Crave Online has a decent interview with Mr. Rollins that’s worth checking out. As always, he ain’t who you think he is.

And with that, I’m putting on my bandanna, opening a brew and watching the show. Catch you here tomorrow night, mmk?

Back To School Supplies – Thanks to my buddy Steve I can draw everyone’s attention to two new ‘Back to School’ supplies no self-respecting college student should be without.

First, the Viking Beer Bong [pictured] which would’ve gone very well with the Viking helmet I frequently wore back in my fraternity daze. . . er, days.

The other featured gizmo is the counting beer opener – “It remembers how many you’ve had long after you won’t”.

Ain’t technology awesome?  Follow the link for all the sordid details on both products.

[I’m available for product testing, Mr. Distributor.  Hint, Hint].