Rob Zombie & Alice Cooper To Tour

Blabbermouth.net – Sorry for being away so long.  Work is long, computer virii ain’t fun, [insert excuse du jour here].  Whatever, I’m back.  Rejoice!

And speaking of rejoicing, saw today that one of my ‘dream concert’ pairings is actually gonna happen – Rob Zombie & Alice Cooper.

I know what you’re thinking.  “Rev, didn’t you say in a post a while back that you didn’t think Zombie would be touring much longer?  In fact, Rev. . .didn’t you say you thought the LAST tour was, well. . . the LAST tour??”

My rebuttal, if you were in fact paying that much attention to what I posted so long ago, is “Dude, seriously?  Don’t you have better sites to hang out on?”.  Ok, ok – my rebuttal is actually a simple “yes”.  With Hollywood yapping at his heels, I’m as surprised (albeit pleasantly) as anyone that Mr. Zombie has chosen to resist the Glamour Town siren song a little longer & stay sweaty on the stage in front of loyal metal hellhounds.

Now as always, I just hope I’m able to be one of those hellhounds one more time. Come to Columbus gentlemen – even though Rob is already signed up for Rock On The Range, we’d all go see him twice!

Dave Ellefson Returns to Megadeth

KNAC.com – Great news! KNAC is reporting that founding bassist of Megadeth, none other than Dave Ellefson, has rejoined the band for the upcoming Rust in Peace 20th Anniversary Tour. Icing on the cake – for this tour frontman Mega-Dave along with Jr., Ex-Jag Panzer virtuoso guitarist Chris Broderick and drummer Shawn Drover, will be performing the ENTIRE Rust in Peace set list as part of each show! And the tour is joined by Exodus and Testament!! THE VAPORS, THE VAPORS!!!

Ahem, I’m better now. Ok, so is it too much to hope that they come to Columbus? Well, HELL YEAH IT IS. So far no mention of anything closer than Indy. And yeah, yeah Megadeth returns to Cleveland with Slayer & Testament later in the summer. But so far, Columbus is once again bent over the table without the benefit of a warm-up kiss or a bottle of cheap wine.

But I’m not bitter or anything. 🙂

Meet Roxxxy

CNN – If you follow the link, you can read CNN’s article about wacky inventor Doug Hines, who has recently unveiled his new creation Roxxxy – the “world’s most sophisticated talking sex robot”. And for a mere $7,000, she can be yours.

According to the post, Roxxy is similar to a Realdoll but also has voice recognition software and even a primitive AI.   Hmmm, so she’s on par with some ex’s, but I digress.

What crazy Doug doesn’t mention is Roxxxy . . . well, looks pretty freakin’ creepy. I mean, she might give ya’ wood if you’re into corpses, but otherwise I think that $7000 would be better served buying A WHOLE ASSLOAD of Margaritas on any given Friday night in your local singles bar. And your chances of getting a warm-blooded sex partner would be 10-fold greater than it ever will be if you allow a silicone sex zombie to reside in your closet. Tough to get laid once your partner sees “the other woman” needs to be charged regularly and swabbed out after use.

Look, I’m an open minded guy but this definitely leans towards deviant behavior, the kind that makes your ancestors haunt you from beyond the grave. Or as my buddy Steve said when he sent me this link (thanks dude!) – “Hasn’t God destroyed entire cities for less?”.

My wife, on the other hand, thinks this is a prototype for Cherry 2000, so maybe she’ll let me spring for a buxom brunette “anniversary gift”?  But who am I kidding, with my luck the doll would hook up with the toaster and I’d still be left out in the cold.