Movie Review: Train (2008)

Train** May Contain Spoilers **

If you’re a big fan of Tortureporn, then by all means rent ‘Train’ this Tuesday when it comes to your local video store. Starring Thora Birch (‘American Beauty’) who seems a bit too classy for this type of film, she nonetheless turns in a believable performance even if the script itself has holes large enough to drive a truck through.

The plot is basically a revamping of ‘Turistas’ with a hint of ‘Hostel’ thrown in for good measure, wherein a touring American wrestling team gets lost somewhere in Russia and wind up on a train where all sorts of nastiness is taking place. From there, it’s pretty predictable with gratuitous hacking, ripping and even raping – if you’re into that sort of thing. Myself, I prefer to actually be scared in a Horror-ish film so I found the storyline to be sparsely inspired & chock full of unbelievable plot elements.

Not bad visually and decently paced for the most part, in the end there’s just not much here to stand out in a genre dripping full of bloody look-a-likes. ‘Train’ chugs along, but ultimately doesn’t take us anyplace new.

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