Kidzboppin’ “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn”

I learned today that on May 15th, a new Kidzbop CD will drop – “Kidzbop Sings Monster Ballads”.   I don’t normally cruise the Kidzbop site, thank you very much -  I got a press release (so no need to alert Chris Hansen just yet).

Anyhow, what’s significant about this edition of the long running & popular kids series is Poison front-man Bret Michaels will be playing guitar on his hit ‘Every Rose Has It’s Thorn’, with daughters Raine & Jorja handling the vocals.  The threesome will even be hosting an air guitar contest on, so definitely check it out if you’ve got young ones who might be interested.

Then I got to thinking; there’s some “kid unfriendly” lyrical content to this song. Specifically, the following passage;

I know I could’ve saved a love that night
If I’d known what to say
Instead of makin’ love (!!)
We both made our separate ways

I’m sure the good producers of Kidzbop run into this problem all the time what with some of the artists they cover, but just in case I couldn’t resist taking the opportunity to offer some suggestions of my own.   Please consider the following lines each substituted directly in place of the original line 3 above;

  • Instead Of Having Fun (this was my wife’s idea – still kinda suggestive IMHO)
  • Instead of throwing mud (YEAH!)
  • Instead of eating subs
  • Instead of drinking rum (a pirate version, maybe?)
  • Instead of playing dumb (it rhymes, it just doesn’t make any sense)
  • Instead of chewing gum
  • Instead of shooting guns (this would be in the W. Virginia version)
  • Like flying Turtledoves (poetic, ain’t I?)
  • Like Michael Jackson’s glove (now I’m gonna get sued)
  • With a friendly shove
  • Hereinabove (no idea, but it rhymes)

Ok ok, you get the idea, hundreds of possibilities.  It will be interesting to hear how the producers choose to handle this conundrum.  Glad I don’t have to be the one to tell Bret that they need to change the lyrics of his mega-hit song so his daughters can sing it. Yikes!

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