Stop Picking on Uwe Boll

That’s right, you read the header. . . I’m DEFENDING one of the most notorious film directors on the internet.  Why, you ask? 

“The man directed Bloodrayne II for Christ’s sake, Rev!  Have you lost your freakin’ mind!?! HE GAVE TARA REID A LEADING ROLE – AS A SCIENTIST!!!  MY GOD MAN, WHAT ARE YOU (OR HIM FOR THAT MATTER) THINKING !?!?!?”

Maybe I’ve lost my mind, but that’s another discussion.  Let’s stick to the facts, shall we?

Fact: Uwe may be a schlock director, but I LIKE schlock.  And I’m not alone.  The man delivers what a schlock cinema fan wants to see – boobs, blood, bad ass monsters.  I liked ‘House of the Dead’.  Let me repeat that. . . I liked  ‘House of the Dead’.  I’ve sat through far worse, and some of it was done by Academy Awarded (trademarked yadda yadda) people.  So, with Uwe, you get what you pay for. . .or didn’t pay for, as the case may be.  It’s kinda of like his own genre, take it or leave it.

Fact:  His cinematography (albeit probably not really HIS cinematography but the cinematography in HIS films) is decent, his movies are action packed.  You are entertained.  Perhaps not as much as you’d like, but you’re entertained.  Let’s face it – it’s the scripts that are usually. . . .a bit . . . .wanting.  Well, I’m just being honest here.  But to decry this man as such a horrible director, to have a PETITION requesting he quit making films.  Aw, c’mon!  That’s just lame.   If we’re gonna demand people stop producing stuff just ’cause SOME folks don’t like it, - well then I would’ve willed away Emo a long time ago, trust me. 

Fact: Uwe is one of the only film makers using the German tax code to finance his productions in the way it was intended i.e. to benefit the German economy.  He makes ’em, produces them and distributes them entirely through his home country.  Yes, supported by the German tax law, but hey – he didn’t write the damn law.  He’s a businessman, not a politician. 

Fact: Sometimes Uwe has been known to threaten beating the ass of critics of his films. Ok, well – he’s an artist, and artists get defensive. And hell, some of those critics probably HAVE an asswhipping coming to ’em anyhow, y’know? So he’s a bit melodramatic, well – the great ones generally are. Can you truly fault the guy for protecting his art?? No, God love him for caring so much!

In conclusion, a great post on this very subject can be found at Beyond Hollywood (where I also stole this picture.  Thanks!). I kinda of agree with their logic & wish Mr. Boll a long and fruitful career of making sexy, blood soaked movies-that-make-no-sense-sometimes-but-you-still-like-them-because-at-least-a-hot-chick-gets-naked-and-fights-the-big-bad-demon type movies.  For some of us, Uwe Boll is our spokesperson.  Not necessarily a very CLEAR spokesperson, but he’s our man.

So back off, preppie boys.  Lest we get mean about it.  ;>

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