Rock of Love: Good thing it wasn’t Rob Zombie, Axel or Phil

So, I’m hiding out upstairs because the wife and kids are watching the “Rock of Love” reunion show downstairs.  Not that I have anything against Bret Michaels, or horny tattooed chicks in general.  Hell, I’ve actually seen Lacey’s band Nocturne in concert, but didn’t recall until I was reminded the other day.

But what I CAN’T stand is the whining, the bitching, the crying . . .and then there’s  the girls!  (Just kidding there, Bret).

And I as I catch glimpses of the show on the way to the fridge for a brewski or two, I can’t help but think how the dialogue would change if a different rocker had been the man-bait.  Y’know, someone known for their aggressiveness, their edginess, their unpredictability. 

For example, what if Rob Zombie were on the Rock of Love??  Couldn’t you just hear his monologue;

 ‘I was beginning to think Sam wasn’t emotionally stable enough to be in the public eye as much as my life demands. 

So I killed her. . . ‘ 

Or Phil Anselmo. . .what if Phil were on Rock of Love?

‘You talkin’ to ME!?!  Are you talkin’ to ME!?!?  NO WAY!’ [THUMP]

Or perhaps;

Axel Rose: “BITCHES!” 

Producer: “Uhm, Axel. . .just say ‘hello’ to the girls.  They just got here”

Axel: “BITCHES!  Get OUT of my House!”

Ok, ok – that was all lame but you get the idea.  Not just any rockstar can do that show.  It requires a certain patience, a certain ability to deal with various personality types. . .and most of all it requires a genuine desire to get laid . . . even by the batshit crazy !

Ah, the life of celebrity.

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